A Mother's Sanctuary

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I have a story to tell. I have a story people need to listen to!  It is my story of postpartum depression.  I believed everything was fine.  However, things were not as great as I believed.  You see, my son cried a lot. I mean absolutely way to much crying.  If he cried, I cried and if he cried, I cried. It was a never ending cycle of the two of us crying!

There was a day I went into the grocery store and began to shop.  My aunt walked in a bit later and asked where “I” was.  I looked at her because I had no idea who she was talking about.  I had forgotten about my son.  I had no idea who he was. Was it Postpartum depression or was it postpartum psychos?

It was because my aunt walked in and clearly knew something was wrong that I began to receive help. It really isn’t that easy for everyone. But I ask that you pay attention to moms. I ask that you listen when they tell you that something is wrong. Please help them.

You see, during that encounter, I was to afraid to tell anyone and I swore my aunt to never tell anyone.  My son is now 7 years old and others are just finding out about my PPD. How did everyone find out? I wrote a chapter in a compilation book. It was the most rewarding, liberating and powerful thing I have done.

If you would like to read my entire story (chapter 9) please follow the link.  There are also other amazing stories in this book!


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Why and How?

The birth of a child can be a joyous and exciting time, but following childbirth, some women may experience postpartum disorders that can adversely affect a woman’s mental health. Mothers commonly experience what is called “the baby blues,” mood swings that are the result of high hormonal fluctuations that occur during and immediately after childbirth. They may also experience more serious mental health disorders such as postpartum depression, birth-related post-traumatic stress disorder or a severe but rare condition called postpartum psychosis.

Many women often wonder what they are experiencing and are constantly searching for answers as to what is wrong with them.  What is postpartum depression is and why you have it and what do your do about it? You often wondering if there is something wrong with you and if you are normal. We know you’re probably feeling very scared, confused, disappointed, sad or angry right now, or possibly even everything that was just mentioned.  Well I am here to tell you that you are not alone. Hundreds of thousands of women in across the globe, get postpartum depression and related illnesses every year. You didn’t do anything to cause it and you haven’t done anything to deserve it. IT NOT YOUR FAULT. Many of the mental health issues associated with pregnancy and child birth are temporary and treatable with professional help.

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Not Smart Enough!?

As a young child we are taught that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words may never hurt me.” As an adult we are taught to carefully watch what we say to people because words hurt. What do you believe to be true?  As a child and an adult words do hurt.  Who really wants to hear hurtful things about themselves from other people? What if those hurtful things came from a relative? “You are not smart enough to go to college!”  These are the words that were spoken to me while attending high school. Please note that during this time started a whirlwind of unsavory comments that were spoken to me on a daily basis! I was a child, I took every comment to heart and started to believe it.  If your relatives are saying things of this nature, you begin to believe that these comments are true. You begin to live that ugly lie someone has told you. As a result of the belief that I was not smart enough for college, I enlisted into the Military at the age of 17 as an Operating Room Specialist (surgical Technician).  Now as an adult, I know that the comments that were made to me on a daily basis were not true! Are individuals really “a product of their community”?  In some cases yes but, in many cases no. If this were true, myself and many people I know would be all kinds of messed up!

 Now, I am not writing this blog so that you can feel sorry for me because I now embrace every hurtful thing that has ever been said to me. Why do I do this? Because without that time in my life, I wouldn’t have a story to tell in the present nor the future.  I write this blog to encourage everyone that has ever been under attack with hurtful comments to press forward.  This is only a test.  How will you come out in the end? Will you be defeated or will you be a conqueror.  I chose to be a conqueror.  I chose to prove every individual that ever said anything negative about me, wrong.  In return, I realized that I have absolutely nothing to prove to others however a tremendous amount to prove to myself.  Everything I am currently doing is for myself and my family.  Make yourself the priority in your life.  You too can overcome all of the hurt you have ever endured.

How have I overcome? Well let’s see.  I LOVE MYSELF! I love my children and will never say things that may hurt their self-esteem. Don’t get me wrong we discipline in my household. Just not in a demeaning way. I have become a successful surgical technician in the civilian world.  I have just received my BS in Psychology, Now working on my Masters. I run a successful Pure Romance business and I am a Sexual Health Educator. What more could I want? Lot’s more!  I will not stop and neither should you.

I write this so everyone who begins to read the up in coming blogs from A Mother’s Sanctuary will know, my life wasn’t all fairytale’s and pixie dust but rather rocky territory. I hope the upcoming blogs inspire you to talk about your problems and share your story.  You never know who it may impact.  Please remember, you are NEVER alone!